Squadron 1337 Episode #9: Time well wasted


(Scene begins at Squadron 1337 somewhere near the center of the base in the crow’s nest. Leeroy and Johnson are sitting in chairs looking out over the horizon. Johnson still in arm cast.)

Leeroy: You know I’m starting to think a keg would really bring this room together.

Johnson: Higgins is looking for it, man. You need to relax.

Leeroy: I can’t relax, man. I need something to take the edge off.

Johnson: Is something on your mind?

Leeroy: Nothing new.

Johnson: Well, what’s been troubling you?

Leeroy: It’s…it’s just all this new responsibility. I haven’t exactly had a chance to put it to the test since Innes died.

Johnson: What? Being the new Blue squad leader? No biggie. Besides, didn’t you kind of take the lead on the Zealot mission?

Leeroy: If that’s what you call lead, then I guess.

Johnson: See, that’s all you’ve got to do. Follow either McCloud or Lincoln’s lead, they’ve been doing it for quite a while.

Leeroy: Yeah, you see, I’m not the friendly fire type.

Johnson: Okay, I see your point. That was an accident. But regardless, Lincoln is still a fine squad leader. And you will be too!

Leeroy: Yeah, I guess you’re right.

Johnson: I mean now is a good a time as any to step it up. With Lincoln suspended and McCloud off to god knows where, you’re the highest ranking soldier on this little rock we call home.

Leeroy: Shit…really? I never even thought about that.

Johnson: Well you’ve got to, man. It’s like swimming with a school of fish. Pretty soon the leaders of the pack are going to start getting picked off by sharks or something, so a new fish needs to take the mantle.

Leeroy: And you think I’m that guppy?

Johnson: No, I said fish. See, a guppy is a pathetic fish. You can’t view yourself as a pathetic fish.

Leeroy: Well then what kind of fish would you say I am then?

Johnson: The kind that swims in packs.

Leeroy: So I’m a follower?

Johnson: Okay, you’re no fun. I’m going to find that keg.

(Johnson gets up and leaves)



(Cut to large canyon where the rogue soldiers are stationed. Innes is in lock up under the main base structure, which is sealed in by laser doors / holo-doors)

(The leader of the crew enters the holo-door, followed by Duncan and Digit)

Orion: My name is Orion. Since you’re going to be imprisoned here for a little while, why don’t you tell me your name?

Digit: It’s Jack, sir.

Innes: Uh no, it’s Innes.

Digit: Shut up Jack, no one said you could talk.

Orion: (to Digit) I was asking the prisoner what his name was. At no point did I ask you to chime in.

Digit: Really? I just thought-

Orion: Thought what?

Digit: I just thought it was implied.

(A beat)

Orion: Go wash the Falcon.

Digit: You never let me have any fun!

(Digit storms out of the holding area)

Orion: Sorry about that. Digit’s not what you’d consider normal.

Innes: Trust me, I had me a soldier like that back at my base.

Orion: Tell me, prisoner, where exactly were you stationed?

Innes: Squadron 1337.

Orion: 1337. That’s a ways off. How’d you end up out here?

Innes: My ship crashed. We were bombarded by aliens at our base. I was returning from a mission with some members of my squad. I dropped them off so I could initiate a dogfight in the air. One of their tanks shot me down.

Orion: Wow. And you survived?

Innes: Yeah, I guess you could say that.

Orion: That’s pretty impressive, prisoner.

Innes: Please, call me Innes.

Orion: Are we being formal?

Innes: I just assumed, since you’re so curious about where I came from-

Orion: I’m trying to establish a profile.

Innes: Profile for what? Do you have a database for prisoners?

Duncan: We’re working on one right now.

Innes: So I’m not your first capture?

Duncan: No, you’re our first. I literally came up with this idea 5 minutes after throwing you in holding. So all it took was a quick meet with Orion and we decided that was our best course of action.

Innes: So what are you going to do with this information? Turn me in to the UNSC? The Rebellion? What?

(Orion and Duncan turn to each other, and back to Innes)

Orion: We…haven’t thought that far ahead yet.

Innes: Wow…you guys must be really bored out here.

Duncan: You caught us.

Orion: We’ve been stationed here for about seven months now. At first it was just Duncan and I, and then Digit was kind of dropped on our laps by the UNSC about three weeks ago. As you can tell, he’s very eager.

Innes: Listen guys. I’m not your enemy, I don’t deserve to be locked up. You guys don’t even have a legitimate reason to hold me here.

Duncan: You invaded our territory, what better reason is there?

Innes: I’m in no mood to pick fights here. I just don’t want to be kept prisoner. I feel like I can offer you much more.

Orion: What are you talking about?

Innes: Well for starters I’m a pretty agile soldier. I killed an alien tank with just a sword.

Orion: I thought you said you were shot down by a tank.

Innes: I was. And then I found this sword when I woke up after the crash. And then I killed a whole tank with it.

(Duncan and Orion turn to look at each other, and back to Innes)

Orion: Can we see this sword?


End of Episode 9



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