Squadron 1337 Episode #7: Elephant in the room


(Scene begins up at mission control: McCloud is addressing the remaining soldiers left in his Squad; Leeroy, Johnny, Rose and Higgins)

McCloud: Well this couldn’t have gone any better.

Leeroy: Quite the team we’re left with sir.

Rose: Yeah uh, tell us again why Lincoln isn’t up here with us?

McCloud: Lincoln’s been suspended from duty for poor judgment on the battlefield. He was the leader of the Ivory Tower op and he blew it by taking out his own men in the process.

Higgins: By accident, right?

McCloud: So he says…

Rose: You don’t believe him?

Johnny: Trust me, guys. Johnson was an accident. But Dex…well I can’t say the same.

Higgins: Meh if it were me I probably would’ve done the same thing. Dex is kind of annoying.

Leeroy: (to McCloud) Sir, permission to speak out of line.

McCloud: Uh, permission granted?

Leeroy: I think your decision to send Dex on that assault was a poor one, and frankly, I don’t blame Lincoln at all for his actions.

McCloud: I didn’t exactly see you stepping up to the plate, soldier. Where were you when I was building the teams?

Leeroy: I was dealing with my emotions. (turns to group) Like a man!

McCloud: Alright enough. You all said what you had to say. I understand you’re upset, but unfortunately I have to drop more sour news on your heads.

Higgins: Jeez, give us a minute to clean the first sour load-

McCloud; Shut it. I’m being called away to meet with a former associate of mine from back in my field days. I’m going to need the four of you to hold down the fort while I’m gone.

Rose: How long are you away for?

McCloud: Only a couple of hours tops. I’m flying in to New Alexandra to meet with her.

Johnny: Ooh, it’s a her eh? So then it’s a date?

McCloud: It’s not a date.

Leeroy: Where are you meeting her?

McCloud: There’s this old coffee shop-

Leeroy: (to Johnny) It’s a date.

Rose: That’s so sweet, boss. You guys can reminisce on the good times. Then you can tell her how you feel, kiss in the rain, or perhaps at a drive-in movie-

McCloud: It’s not a date, Rose.

Rose: C’mon boss, you need to loosen up. Breathe a little. When was the last time you had any fun?

McCloud: That’s irrelevant.

Higgins: The hell it is. As your squad representatives, we’re absolutely behind your decision to court this woman.

Johnny: She can be like the team step-mom…

McCloud: Whoa-whoa-whoa, don’t rush into things.

Rose: So you’re willing to take it slow!?

McCloud: I never said t-

Johnny: Listen, I can tell you’re blushing by the steam building up in your visor. What’s the harm in seeing this get-together as a simple date? Hell, I read a study that suggested that a single man and woman who go out, whether it be a to a movie as friends or to grab a coffee, technically constitutes as a ‘date.’ So lighten up.

McCloud: I-I don’t know what to say.

Leeroy: Sir, you have our permission to see this woman.

McCloud: I-uh…thank you?

Leeroy: No need to thank us. We’re only looking out for your best interests.

McCloud: You’re all dismissed.

(crew leaves)

Higgins (off-in-distance walking away): Who’s got the funnel?

Leeroy (off-in-distance walking away): Real question is where are we going to get the keg?

McCloud: What the hell was that about? (McCloud walks off towards Falcon landing bay)




(cut to Johnny walking behind base, and entering through a new teleporter)

(Walking through the teleporter transfers him to a new underground facility that was developed between Episode 6 and 7. The facility harbors a secret underground base, a storage garage for various jeeps, tanks and ATVs, a war room, and medical facility. All state-of-the-art)

Johnny: This place never ceases to amaze me. (looks around, as he walks towards ramp, walking up to the base.)

(Once at the top of the ramp, there is a long walkway, with a tall base structure on the right, and a long narrow medical facility on the left, which houses a teleporter which would take anyone down to the ground level beneath the walkway, where the garage is. At the very end of the long walkway is where the war room is stationed)

(Johnny runs into Dex standing outside the medical facility)

Johnny: Dex, what are you doing out of bed?

Dex: I wanted warm milk.

Johnny: We don’t have any warm milk. Can I get you a juice?

Dex: Can it be warm juice?

Johnny: I can warm it up for you.

Dex: You don’t have to do that.

Johnny: Dex, that’s my job. I’m your medic, I’m supposed to be taking care of you. (mumbles to self) Although I kind of wish I wasn’t…

Dex: Fine, I’ll go back to bed. You’re so needy.

Johnny: Where’s Johnson?

Dex: He’s down in the garage with Lincoln.


(cut to garage. Lincoln is walking around the jeeps, checking the air in the tires. Johnson, with his arm in a sling, walks up to Lincoln)

Johnson: How’s it going buddy?

Lincoln: How do you think it’s going? I haven’t seen the light of day in three days. I have to stay in the base down here since I’ve been suspended from duty.

Johnson: Yeah, I’m sorry that had to happen, bro.

Lincoln: What are you talking about? I’m sorry I shot you. If it hadn’t had been for Dex blocking my view, I would’ve had a clean shot-

Johnson: I almost had the alien bastard too. I could taste his wicked stench on my lips.

Lincoln: That’s a little weird.

Johnson: Is it, Lincoln? Is it?

(enter Johnny, who came through teleporter at the other end of the garage)

Johnny: Hey guys!

Lincoln: Hey Johnny, what’s the good word?

Johnny: McCloud’s heading out for a few hours. Got called away by a lovely lady.

Johnson: Damn! And I thought I was the only one on this base with social skills.

Lincoln: (to Johnson) Don’t make me take off your other arm…

Johnson: Oh! It’s nothing against you, man! I meant skills with the ladies mostly.

Lincoln: You’re not really helping your case.

Johnson: I’ll shut up.

Lincoln: (to Johnny) Any word on when he’s going to lift my suspension?

Johnny: He hasn’t said. He doesn’t disclose that stuff to us.

Lincoln: (walks by and kicks jeep in anger) I’m sick of this place. I mean it’s cool and all that we got this area built. It makes for a pretty sweet bunker but I’m getting claustrophobic. Tell me Johnny, what’s the sun like?

Johnny: Uh, it’s hot?

Lincoln: (sighs) Oh, it’s like it was only yesterday I was standing out sunbathing.

Johnny: You know you’ve only been down here three days right?

Lincoln: How do you know it’s been three days? Do you have a clock? Do you have any perception of time? The sun never sets on this planet, bro.

Johnson: (to Johnny) Don’t mind him, he’s restless.

Lincoln: You’re damn right I’m restless. Is McCloud off his rocker? Does he really think he can have a functioning squad with four soldiers? I mean it’s bad enough we lost Innes-

Johnny: McCloud is still trying to learn how to be a proper leader. He really only got the job like seven months ago, and considering how we haven’t seen a lot of action in that time, he hasn’t really had to step up to the plate and discipline.

Lincoln: Whatever. I’m hungry. I’ll see you guys.

(Lincoln brushes past Johnson and Johnny, goes through teleporter)

Johnny: Jeez, he’s had a pretty rough go.

Johnson: I swear I want to strangle him while he sleeps.

Johnny: What?

Johnson: Nothing.




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